sometimes i regret-

next time i will bail on them and stay in with you. i promise.

Delays and Insomnia

Long gaps between whispered words to the dark

it's an infrequent insomniatic therapy session,

a blowing-off-steam kind of thing

no other way to describe what I feel than "love"

I hate people, but I'll always love you

the neverending story of my life

want to believe, more than you will ever know

never mind the paralysis, I'll always be kicking and screaming on the inside.

sleepy poetry

mixed feelings and second-rate second chances
life is calling & i can't answer
paralyzed
jumping for joy one minute
& heart throbbing the next
lonely only in my head
moments of brief connection with people i don't even know
i tie your words around my wrists
& bind myself to you
can't get you out of my thoughts
i want to be where you are every day
opening my heart & soul to you
exposed
everything i am i want to give to you

this thing in my chest, it won't stop...

my heart just keeps beating
even when i think it should give up already
it finds new ways to surprise me
tissues and issues: the perfect couple
oh so intricate, oh so envious
saying "i want you" doesn't mean i need you
but sometimes it comes close
losing my mind at night now
can't sleep unless the tv's on
why can't we let it be?
every time i see you, i remember
it's salt in the wound
thinking of how much i want to hate you
but i never will.

the city is at war

rain vs sunlight
the only difference is in the way you see the sky.
with the sun it's right there.
with rain, you have to look beyond, know and have faith that all the stars, planets, infinite space is still there. you just can't see it.
afternoons bleed into nights so fast
i can't keep up
need you want you miss you
'sympathy' is a four letter word.

run where you'll be safe...

another year older, another grain of sand in the hourglass.
had nightmares last night like i haven't in a while
the kind that wake you up breathing fast, heart racing
cartoons in the morning dull the fear
bestfriends still asleep next to us
breathing like babies, made of sunshine and rainbows
i fell in love with sunsets, the sunrise has nothing on them.

my records keep skipping

belief isn't enough to hold me here
anchored
can't wait, can't stay calm enough to use logic
tension in my shoulders, back, every part down to my toes
sooner rather than later would be nice
kisses on the necks of bestfriends, exfriends to the end, better off as lovers
i need someone(something) to have faith in, for once.